The Bunnie of my eternity.

Every so often once the dark shadow of my past sets its hand upon my shoulder, few memories prove invaluable, mmmm maybe even life saving. Yesterday i felt the hand of my shadow, it was cold. Driving my car down Willson ave. pondering the timeless mystery of the skies pigment when all of a sudden felt a rumble from under my right front wheel. As the trees passed in my side-view mirrors the horror of my folly had come full-swing. There in the middle of the street i watched the leg twitch of a flat, cute, fuzzy little pancake of joy that i had just smothered with my tire.WHY GOD WHY?!?! yes it was a rabbit. yes i had just killed it. great. as i watched its last little flint of energy kick out of its quivering leg, my shadow grabbed ahold. ( a harp plays and my vision ripples...)

The warm glow of my bedside lamp illuminates the room around me. I am nine years old, fresh out of the fifth grade and hungry for more. I sat on the edge of my bed, mentally preparing for the strenuous test that lay ahead, the test of summer camp. The light of the room created a warm blanket to comfort my fears and one simple creature which lay cupped in my arms expressed enough love and confidence in me to fill my heart with infinite joy. his name....Rudolph, his earthly form, a bunnie. I found rudolph with his head stuck under our air conditioner about 3 weeks prior to my departure and took it upon myself to become the little guys confidant...at least i think he was a guy. As the sun passed over head, the days were spent frolicking in the yard with my new best friend. I would teach him how to jump really high, or run away from me quickly; while he showed me the simply beauty of nibbling grass or basically just doing nothing but staring back at me. God he was so wise! Rudolph to me represented a gate into the unknown, a chance for me to explore the spiritual undercurrent of a world which i was still learning about...
Back in my room, a tear leaped from my eyelash to splatter upon rudolphs gray mis-shaped head. "why must i go?" i said. "I want to stay here with you forever." Rudolph with a rather annoyed stare now that i reflect on it, gave me a sign which i will never forget. At that moment Rudolph leaped from my arms and sailed throw the air as does a hawk riding the thermals over the ridgeline of the bridgers. Upon hitting the ground rudolph sprang with lightning quickness straight into a wall; adjusted himeslf, then shot out of my room. NOOOOO!!!!RUDOLPH!!!!!! i searched every square inch of that house and did not find my beloved friend. i left for camp....depressed, would be the better word. why had this happened to me? why would such a close and personal friend feel the need to tear my heart out of my chest and nibble it to peices?! what a jerk. my sorrow soon morphed to rage. screw rudolph, he was an idiot anyways! at camp i lost rudolph to new experiences and friends made through a summer filled with adventure. When i came home, i thought of rudolph almost instantly. was he still here? my mother had informed me that rudolph had nibbled through our fuse box while i was gone and shut off power to the house and electricuted himself in the process. that crazy rabbit i thought, always getting into trouble.........vision of present reality returns.......

"GET OUT OF THE FRIGGIN STREET YOU CRAZY ASSHOLE!!" this fuzzy little pancake lay at my feet. i didnt even pull my car over to the side of the road, i just parked it right in the middle. traffic was at a standstill. car horns filled the autum air. "Rudolph..." i whispered to myself, "what have i done?" "GET OUT OF THE GOD DAMN STREET!!!!" i drove away. i shouldnt have left him there all alone....and flat. I thought of my classical foundations of literature class, we talked about jesus being a bunny. great...i killed jesus.